The Rocky Horror Picture Show

 

Les références

Le script

by Richard O'Brien

Science Fiction / Double Feature
Usherette Michael Rennie was ill
The day the earth stood still
But he told us where we stand
And Flash Gordon was there
In silver underwear
Claude Rains was the invisible man
Then something went wrong
For Fay Wray and King Kong
They got caught in a celluloid jam
Then at a deadly pace
It came from outer space
And this is how the message ran.
Chorus Science fiction - double feature
Dr X will build a creature
See Androids fighting Brad and Janet
Anne Francis stars in forbidden planet
Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh 
At the late night double feature
Picture show
Usherette I knew Leo G. Caroll
was over a barrel
When Tarantula took to the hills
And I really got hot
When I saw Jeanette Scott
Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills
Dana Andrews said prunes
Gave him the runes
And passing them
used lots of skills
But when worlds collide
Said George Pal to his bride
I'm going to give you some terrible thrills
Like a -
Chorus Science fiction, double feature
Doctor X will build a creature.
See androids fighting Brad and Janet
Anne Francis stars
in Forbidden Planet
Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh
At the late night, double feature, picture show.
I wanna go
Oh Oh Oh
To the late night double feature picture show,
By RKO,
Oh Oh Oh
To the late night double feature picture show,
In the back row,
Oh Oh Oh
To the late night, double feature, picture show!
Dentonians Here they come !
Photographer Let's get a picture. Close together now. The folks and then the grandparents. Yes, all the close family. Ahhh, hold that. Beautiful. And... smile! Congratulations!
Ralph I guess we finally did it, huh.
Brad I don't think there's any doubt about that. You and Betty have been almost inseparable since you met in Dr. Scott's refresher courses.
Ralph Well to tell you the truth, Brad, that's the only reason I showed up in the first place. 
Betty O.K. you guys, this is it.
Ralph Well Betty's going to throw the bouquet.
Janet I got it! I got it!
Ralph Hey big fella, looks like it could be your turn next, eh?
Brad Who knows.
Ralph Well, so long, see you Brad. Guess we better get going now Betty. Come on, hop in. See ya, Brad!
Janet Oh Brad, wasn't it wonderful? Didn't Betty look radiantly beautiful? I can't believe it. An hour ago she was just plain old Betty Munroe and now... now she's Mrs. Ralph Hapschatt.
Brad Yes Janet, Ralph's a lucky guy.
Janet Yes.
Dentonian I always cry at weddings.
Brad Uh, everyone knows that Betty is a wonderful little cook.
Janet Yes.
Brad Why Ralph himself, he'll be in line for a promotion in a year or two.   .
Janet Yes.
Brad Hey Janet.
Janet Yes Brad?
Brad I've got something to say
Janet Uh huh
Brad I really love the... skilful way... you beat the other girls... to the bride's bouquet.
Janet Oh Brad.
Brad The river was deep but I swam it. (Janet) 
The future is ours so let's plan it. (Janet)
So please, don't tell me to can it. (Janet)
I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet I love you. 

The road was long but I ran it. (Janet) 
There's a fire in my heart and you fan it. (Janet) 
If there's one fool for you then I am it. (Janet) 
I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet I love you.

Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker. 
There's three ways that love can grow. 
That's good, bad, or mediocre. 
Oh, J-A-N-E-T I love you so.

Janet :Oh, it's nicer than Betty Munroe had. (Oh Brad) 
Now we're engaged and I'm so glad (Oh Brad) 
That you met Mom and you know Dad. (Oh Brad) 
I've one thing to say and that's Brad, I'm mad, for you too.

Oh Brad...

Brad Oh... dammit!
Janet I'm mad... . .  
Brad Oh, Janet
Janet For you
Brad I love you too.
Brad & Janet There's one thing left to do - ah - oo.
Brad And that's go see the man who began it. (Janet) 
When we met in his science exam - it (Janet) 
Made me give you the eye and then panic. (Janet) 
Now I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet, I love you. 
Dammit, Janet.
Janet Oh Brad, I'm mad.  : 
Brad Dammit, Janet.
Brad & Janet I love you.
Narrator I would like, ah, if I may, ...to take you on a strange journey. It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Brad Majors and his fiancee Janet Weiss, two young, ordinary, healthy kids, left Denton that late November evening, to visit a Dr. Everett Scott, ex-tutor, and now friend to both of them. It's true there were dark storm clouds, heavy, black, and pendulous, towards which they were driving. It's true, also, that the spare tire they were carrying was badly in need of some air, but, uh, they being normal kids and, on a night night out... well, they were not going to let a storm spoil the events of their evening, were they?... On a night out... it was a night out they were going to remember... for a very long time.
Janet Gosh, that's the third motorcycle that's passed us. They sure do take their lives in their hands, what with the weather and all.
Brad Yes, life's pretty cheap to that type.
Janet Oh. ...What's the matter, Brad darling?
Brad Hmmm.. we must have taken the wrong fork a few miles back.
Janet Oh, but where did that motorcyclist come from?
Brad Hmmm... well I guess we'll just have to turn back.
Janet Oh! What was that bang?
Brad We must have a blowout. DAMMIT! I knew I should have gotten that spare tire fixed. Well, you just stay here keep warm and I'll go for help.
Janet But where will you go in the middle of nowhere?
Brad Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few miles? Maybe they have a telephone I could use.
Janet I'm going with you.
Brad Oh, no, darling, there's no sense in both of us getting wet.
Janet I'm coming with you! Besides darling, the owner of that phone might be a beautiful woman, and you might never come back again.
Brad Heh, heh, heh, heh.

Over at the Frankenstein place
Janet In the velvet darkness,
Of the blackest night,
Burning bright, there's a guiding star.
No matter what or who you are.
Brad & Janet There's a light...
Chorus Over at the Frankenstein place.
Brad & Janet There's a light...
Chorus Burning in the fireplace...
Brad & Janet There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.
Riff Raff The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming.
Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming
Into my life. Into my life...
Brad & Janet There's a light...
Chorus Over at the Frankenstein place.
Brad & Janet There's a light...
Chorus Burning in the fireplace.
There's a light, a light
Brad & Janet ...in the darkness of everybody's life.
Brad I can see the flag fly
I can see the rain
Just the same, there has got to be
Something better here for you and me.
Narrator And so, it seemed that fortune had smiled on Brad and Janet and that they had found the
assistance that their plight required. ...Or had they?
Janet Brad, let's go back, I'm cold and I'm frightened...
Brad Just a moment Janet, they might have a phone.
Riff Raff Hello.
Brad Hi! My name is Brad Majors, and this is my fiancee, Janet Weiss. I wonder if you could
help us. You see, our car broke down a few miles up the road... do you have a phone we
might use?
Riff Raff You're wet.
Janet Yes - it's raining.
Brad Yes.
Riff Raff Yes... I think perhaps you better both come inside.
Janet You're too kind. Oh Brad, I'm frightened. What kind of a place is this?
Brad Oh, it's probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos.
Janet Oh.
Riff Raff This way.
Janet Are you having a party?
Riff Raff You've arrived on a rather special night. It's one of the master's affairs.
Janet Oh, lucky him.
Magenta You're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky! ha ha ha...
The Time Warp
Riff Raff It's astounding;
Time is fleeting;
Madness takes its toll.
But listen closely...
Magenta Not for very much longer.
Riff Raff I've got to keep control.
I remember doing the time-warp
Drinking those moments when
The blackness would hit me
Riff & Magenta And a void would be calling...
Transylvanians Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Narrator It's just a jump to the left.
All And then a step to the right.
Narrator With your hands on your hips.
All You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane.

Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Magenta It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me.
So you can't see me, no, not at all.
In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention,
Well secluded, I see all.
Riff Raff With a bit of a mind flip
Magenta You're into the time slip.
Riff Raff And nothing can ever be the same.
Magenta You're spaced out on sensation.
Riff Raff Like you're under sedation.
All Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Columbia Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think
When this snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.
He shook me up, he took me by surprise
He had a pickup truck, and the devil's eyes.
He stared at me and I felt a change.
Time meant nothing, never would again.
All Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Narrator It's just a jump to the left!
All And then a step to the right.
Narrator With your hands on your hips....
All You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane.

Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
All Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Narrator It's just a jump to the left!!
All And then a step to the right.
Narrator With your hands on your hips!...
All You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust
that really drives you insane.

Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Janet Brad, say something.
Brad Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison?
Janet Brad, please, let's get out of here.
Brad For God's sake keep a grip on yourself Janet.
Janet But it... it seems so unhealthy here.
Brad It's just a party, Janet.
Janet Well - I want to go.
Brad Well we can't go anywhere until I get to a phone.
Janet Well then ask the butler or someone.
Brad Just a moment, Janet - we don't want to interfere with their celebration.
Janet This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad.
Brad They're probably foreigners with ways different than our own. They may do some more...
folk dancing.
Janet Look, I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm just plain scared!
Brad I'm here - there's nothing to worry about.
Sweet Transvestite
Frank How do you do, I
See you've met my
Faithful handyman.

He's just a little brought down
Because when you knocked
He thought you were the candyman.

Don't get strung out by the way I look.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover.

I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transsexual, Transylvania.

Let me show you around
Maybe play you a sound.
You look like you're both pretty groovy.
Or if you want something visual
That's not too abysmal,
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.
Brad I'm glad we caught you at home,
Could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry.
Janet Right.
Brad We'll just say where we are,
Then go back to the car.
We don't want to be any worry.
Frank Well you got caught with a flat, well, how 'bout that?
Well, babies, don't you panic.
By the light of the night it'll all seem alright.
I'll get you a satanic mechanic.

I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transsexual, Transylvania.

Why don't you stay for the night?
Riff Raff Night.
Frank Or maybe a bite?
Columbia Bite.
Frank I could show you my favourite obsession.
I've been making a man
With blond hair and a tan
And he's good for relieving my......tension

I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transsexual, Transylvania.
HIT IT, HIT IT!
I'm just a sweet transvestite
Frank, Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta Sweet transvestite
Frank From Transsexual,
Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta Transylvania.
Frank So - come up to the lab,
And see what's on the slab.
I see you shiver with antici --- pation.
But maybe the rain
Isn't really to blame.
So I'll remove the cause.
But not the symptom.
Janet Oh! Brad!
Brad It's all right Janet. We'll play along for now and pull out the aces when the time is right.
Columbia Oh, slowly, slowly! It's too nice a job to rush.
Brad Hi, my name is Brad Majors, and this is my fiancee, Janet Weiss; ah.. you are...?
Columbia You're very lucky to be invited up to Frank's laboratory. Some people would give their right arm for the privilege.
Brad People like you maybe.
Columbia Ha! I've seen it.
Riff Raff Come along - the master doesn't like to be kept waiting.
Magenta Shift it!
Janet Is he, um, Frank I mean - is he your husband?
Riff Raff The master is not yet married, nor do I think he ever will be. We are simply his servants.
Janet Oh.
Frank Magenta, Columbia - go assist Riff Raff. I will entertain ...uh huh huh...
Brad Brad Majors. This is my fiancee, Janet "Vice".
Janet Weiss.
Brad Weiss? Um.
Frank Enchante.
Frank Well! How nice. And what charming underclothes you both have. But here. Put these on. They'll make you feel less... vulnerable. It's not often we receive visitors here, let alone offer them... hospitality.
Brad Hospitality!? All we wanted to do was to use your telephone, Goddammit, a reasonable request which you've chosen to ignore!
Janet Brad, don't be ungrateful.
Brad Ungrateful!
Frank How forceful you are, Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So... dominant. You must be awfully proud of him, Janet.
Janet Well, yes I am.
Frank Do you have any tattoos, Brad?
Brad Certainly not!
Frank Oh well,.. how about you?
Janet No.
Riff Raff Everything is in readiness, master. We merely await your... word.
Frank Tonight, my unconventional conventionists... you are about to witness a new breakthrough in biochemical research... and paradise is to be mine! It was strange the way it happened... suddenly you get a break... whole pieces seem to fit into place, not a sign of being.. what a fool! The answer was there all the time, it took a small accident to make it happen... AN ACCIDENT...
Magenta & Columbia An accident!
Frank ..and that's how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient, that SPARK that is the breath of life... Yes, I have that knowledge... I hold the secret... to life... itself! You see, you are fortunate for tonight is the night that my beautiful creature is destined to be BORN! Up now! ...throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator... and step the reactor power input THREE MORE POINTS!
Janet Oh, Brad!
Brad It's all right, Janet!
Frank Oh! Rocky!
The Sword of Damocles
Rocky The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head,
And I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cutting the thread.
Frank You IDIOT!!
Rocky Oh, woe is me, my life is a misery.
Oh, can't you see, that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

I woke up this morning with a start when I fell out of bed.
All That ain't no crime.
Rocky And left from my dreaming was a feeling of unnameable dread.
All That ain't no crime.
Rocky My high is low, I'm dressed up with no place to go.
And all I know is I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.
Frank Oh, Rocky!
All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
Rocky Oh ho no no
All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
Rocky Oh ho no no
All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
Rocky Oh ho no no
The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head.
Frank Well, really!
All That ain't no crime.
Rocky And I've got the feeling someone's going to be cutting the thread.
All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
Rocky Oh, woe is me, my life is a mystery
And, can't you see, that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer
All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
Rocky Oh no no no.
All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
Rocky Oh no no no.
All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime,
Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime,
sha-la-la.
Frank Well really. That's no way to behave on your first day out.
Rocky Ugh Ugh
Frank But since you're such an exceptional beauty, I am prepared to forgive you.
Rocky Ugh Ugh
Frank Oh, I just love success.
Riff Raff He's a credit to your genius, master.
Frank Yes.
Magenta A triumph of your will.
Frank Yes.
Columbia He's O.K.
Frank O.K.? O.K.?!? I think we can do better than that. Humph! Well, Brad and Janet, what do you think of him?
Janet Well, I don't like men with too many muscles.
Frank I didn't make him FOR YOU! He carries the Charles Atlas seal of approval.

I can make you a man (part I)

Frank A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds
Will get sand in his face
When kicked to the ground;
And soon in the gym with a determined chin,
The sweat from his pores as he works for his cause
Will make him glisten ...and gleam.
And with massage, and just a little bit of steam,
He'll be pink and quite clean
He'll be a strong man. Oh honey...
Frank 
& Transylvanians
But the wrong man.
Frank He'll eat nutritious high protein. And swallow raw eggs...
Try to build up his shoulders, his chest, arms, and... legs.
Such an effort if he only knew of my plan.
In just seven days...
Frank 
& Transylvanians
I can make you a man.
Frank He'll do press-ups, and chin-ups, do the snatch, clean and jerk.
He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work.
Such strenuous living I just don't understand,
When in just seven days, oh baby, ...I can make you a man.
Columbia Eddie!

Hot Patootie (Bless my soul)

Eddie Whatever happened to Saturday night,
When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright?
It don't seem the same since cosmic light
Came into my life, I thought I was divine.
I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go,
And listen to the music on the radio;
A saxophone was blowin' in a rock 'n roll show.
You climbed in the back seat, you really had a good time.

Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.

My head used to swim from the perfume I smelled.
My hands kind of fumbled with her white plastic belt.
I'd taste her baby pink lipstick and that's when I'd melt
And she'd whisper in my ear tonight she really was mine.
Get back in front, put some hair oil on
Buddy Holly was singing his very last song.
With your arms around your girl you'd try to sing along.
It felt pretty good. Woo! You really had a good time.

Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n roll.
etc.
Frank One from the vaults. Oh baby!.. Don't be upset... It was a mercy killing... he had a certain naive charm, but no muscle... Oh!

I can make you a man (part II)

Frank But a deltoid and a bicep. A hot groin and a tricep. Makes me, oooh, shake, Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the...ha-ha-hand.
Frank 
& Transylvanians
In just seven days I can make you a man.
Frank I don't want no dissention, just dynamic tension.
Janet I'm a muscle fan.
Frank In just seven days, I can make you a man Dig it if you can In just seven days, I can make you a man.
Transylvanians Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah! Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah! Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah! Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!
Narrator There are those who say that life is an illusion, and that reality is but a figment of the imagination. If this is so, then Brad and Janet are quite safe, ... however, the sudden departure of their host...and his creation...into the seclusion of his sombre bridal suite had left them feeling both apprehensive and uneasy, a feeling which grew as the other guests departed, and they were shown to their separate rooms.
Janet Who is it? Who's there?
Frank (Brad) It's only me, Janet.
Janet Oh, Brad darling, come in. Oh! Brad Oh... Yes, my darling...but what if...
Frank (Brad) It's all right, Janet, everything's going to be alright.
Janet Oh, I hope so, my darling. Oh...Ah...ahh OHHH! Oh it's you!
Frank I'm afraid so, Janet, but isn't it nice...
Janet Oh, you beast, you monster...Oh what have you done with Brad?
Frank Oh, well, nothing. Why, do you think I should?
Janet You tricked me...I wouldn't have...I've never..never...
Frank Yes, yes I know, but it isn't all bad, is it? I think you really found it quite pleasurable.
Janet Oh, stop...I mean help...Brad Brad!..Oh Brad!!
Frank Shhh. Brad's probably asleep by now. Do you want him to see you like...This!
Janet Like this..like how??! Oh, it's your fault...you're to blame... I was saving myself...
Frank Well, I'm sure you're not SPENT yet...
Janet Promise you won't tell Brad?
Frank Cross my heart and hope to die...
Frank (Janet) Oh, Brad darling, it's no good here. It'll destroy us.
Brad Don't worry Janet, we'll be away from here in the morning.
Frank (Janet) Oh, Brad you're so strong and protective.
Brad YOU!
Frank I'm afraid so, Brad, but isn't it nice...
Brad Why YOU! What have you done with Janet?
Frank Nothing. Why? Do you think I should?
Brad You tricked me, I wouldn't have...I've never never...never...
Frank Oh Yes yes, I know...but it isn't all bad, is it? Not even half bad, I think you really quite enjoyed it.
Frank Oh... so soft...
Brad Stop it...stop it...oh Janet...JANET!
Frank Shhh! Janet's probably asleep by now, do you want her to see you... like this!
Brad Like this, like how? It's your fault, you're to blame, I thought it was the real thing!
Frank Oh come on, Brad, admit it, you liked it, didn't you? There's no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure, Brad. Oh Brad, you've wasted so much time already...Janet needn't know, I won't tell.
Brad Well, promise you won't tell...
Frank On my mother's graoouuuuuu....
Riff Raff Master, Rocky has broken his chains and vanished. The new playmate is loose and somewhere on the grounds. Magenta has just released.. the dogs.
Frank Mmmmm? Coming!
Janet What's happening here? Where's Brad? Where's anybody? Oh, Brad. Brad, my darling, how could I have done this to you? Oh, if only we hadn't made this journey... if only the car hadn't broken down... oh, if only we were amongst friends... Or sane persons, Oh Brad, what have they done with him... Oh, Brad, Oh Brad-How could you?
Janet Oh, but you're hurt...Did they do this to you? Here, I'll dress your wounds... baby there...
Narrator Emotion, agitation or disturbance of the mind...Vehement or excited mental state. It is also a powerful and irrational master...and from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly viewed on their television monitor there seemed little doubt that Janet was, indeed, ... its slave.
Magenta 
& Columbia
Tell us about it, Janet.
Click for mixed.0028.jpg

Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me

Janet

I was feeling done in, couldn't win
I'd only ever kissed before.

Columbia You mean she's...
Magenta Uh huh.
Janet I thought there's no use getting
Into heavy petting
It only leads to trouble
And seat wetting.

Now all I want to know is how to go.
I've tasted blood and I want more.

Magenta 
& Columbia
More, more, more
Janet

I'll put up no resistance
I want to stay the distance
I've got an itch to scratch
I need assistance.

Toucha toucha toucha touch me
 I want to be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me
Creature of the night.

Then if anything grows, while you pose,
I'll oil you up and rub you down.

Magenta 
& Columbia
Down, down, down.
Janet

And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction
You need a friendly hand and I need action.

Toucha toucha toucha touch me
I want to be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me
Creature of the night.

Columbia Toucha toucha toucha touch me
Magenta  I want to be dirty.
Columbia Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me,
Magenta Creature of the night.
Janet

Oh, toucha toucha toucha touch me I want to be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me, creature of the night.

Rocky Creature of the night
Brad Creature of the night ?
Frank Creature of the night.
Magenta Creature of the night.
Riff Raff Creature of the night.
Columbia Creature of the night.
Rocky Creature of the night !
Janet Creature of the night.
Riff Raff Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!  Merrrrrcy!
Frank How did it happen ?  I understood you were to be watching !
Riff Raff I was only away for a minute...master
Frank Well, see if you can find him on the monitor.
Riff Raff Master, master...we have a visitor.
Brad Hey, Scotty !  ...Dr. Everett Scott.
Riff Raff You know this earthling ...person ?
Brad I most certainly do!  He happens to be an old friend of mine.
Frank I see. So this wasn't simply a chance meeting. You came here with a purpose.
Brad I told you, my car broke down.  I was telling the truth.
Frank I know what you told me... but this Dr. Everett Scott, his name is not unknown to me.
Brad He was a science teacher at Denton High School.
Frank And now he works for your government, doesn't he, Brad ?  He's attached to the bureau of investigation of that which you call UFO's!  Isn't that right, Brad ?
Brad He might be... I don't know.
Riff Raff The intruder is entering the building, master.
Frank He'll probably be... in the Zen room. Shall we inquire of him in person ?
Brad Great Scott !
Dr. Scott Frank N Furter, we meet at last.
Brad Dr. Scott !
Dr. Scott Brad ! What are you doing here ?
Frank Don't play games, Dr. Scott.  You know perfectly well what Brad Majors is doing here. It was part of your plan, was it not ? That he and his female should check the layout for you. Well, unfortunately for you, all the plans are to be changed. I am adaptable, Dr. Scott; I know Brad is.
Dr. Scott I can assure you that Brad's presence here comes as a complete surprise to me.  I came here to find Eddie.
Brad Eddie !  I've seen him !
Frank Eddie ! What do you know of Eddie, Dr. Scott ?
Dr. Scott I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things. You see Eddie happens to be my nephew.
Brad Dr. Scott.
Janet Ah !
Dr. Scott Janet !
Janet Dr. Scott !
Brad Janet !
Janet Brad !
Frank Rocky !
Dr. Scott Janet !
Janet Dr. Scott !
Brad Janet !
Janet Brad !
Frank Rocky !
Dr. Scott Janet !
Janet Dr. Scott !
Brad Janet !
Janet Brad !
Frank Rocky !
Frank Listen... I made you... and I can break you just as easily.
Magenta Master, dinner is prepared !
Frank Excellent. Under the circumstances, formal dress is to be optional.
Narrator Food has always played a vital role in Life's rituals. The breaking of the bread, the last meal of the condemned man, and now, this meal.  However informal it might appear, you can be sure that there was to be very little.. bon ami.
Frank A toast... to absent friends...
All To absent friends.
Frank And Rocky. Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Rocky... Shall we ?
Dr. Scott We came here to discuss Eddie.
Columbia Eddie ?!
Frank That's a rather tender subject. Another slice anyone ?
Columbia Excuse me...
Dr. Scott I knew he was in with a bad crowd, but it was worse than I imagined... Aliens!
Rocky Ugh?!
Brad & Janet Doctor Scott !
Frank Go on, Dr. Scott. Or should I say Dr. Von Scott?
Brad Just what exactly are you implying ?
Dr. Scott It's all right!
Brad But Dr. Scott!
That's all right, Brad !!

Eddie

Dr. Scott From the day he was born 
He was trouble.
He was the thorn
In his mother's side.
She tried in vain...
Narrator ... but he never caused her nothing but shame.
Dr. Scott He left home the day she died. From the day she was gone All he wanted Was Rock 'n' Roll porn And a motorbike. Shooting up junk...
Narrator He was a low down cheap little punk!
Dr. Scott Taking everyone for a ride.
All When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy
You knew he was a no-good kid.
But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife
Frank What a guy !
Janet Makes you cry.
Dr. Scott Und I did.
Columb Everybody shoved him.
I very nearly loved him.
I said, hey, listen to me;
Stay sane inside insanity!
But he locked the door and threw away the key.
Dr. Scott But he must have been drawn
Into something,
Making him warn
Me in a note that reads...
All What's it say ? What's it say ?
Eddie's voice I'm out of my hed.
Oh, hurry, or I may be dead.
They mustn't carry out their evil deeds.
All When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy
You knew he was a no-good kid.
But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife
Frank What a guy !
Janet Makes you cry.
Dr. Scott Und I did.
All When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy
You knew he was a no-good kid.
But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife
Frank What a guy !
Janet Makes you cry.
Dr. Scott Und I did.
Frank Rocky ! How could you ?

Wise up

Frank I'll tell you once; I won't tell you twice.
You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.
Your apple pie don't taste too nice.
You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.

I've laid the seed ;it should be all you need.
You're as sensual as a pencil, wound up like an E or first string. When we made it, didja hear a bell ring ?

Ya gotta block? Well, take my advice. You better wise up, Janet Weiss. The transducer will seduce ya.

Janet My feet ! I can't move my feet !
Dr. Scott My wheels ! My God, I can't move my wheels !
Brad It's as if we're glued to the spot !
Frank You are ! So quake with fear, you tiny fools!
Janet We're trapped !
Frank It's something you'll get used to. A mental mind fuck can be nice.
Dr. Scott You won't find Earth people quite the easy mark you imagine. This sonic transducer... it is, I suppose, some kind of audio-vibrato-physio-molecular transport device ?
Brad You mean...
Dr. Scott Yes, Brad, it's something we ourselves have been working on for quite some time. But it seems our friend here has found a means of perfecting it. A device which is capable of breaking down solid matter and then projecting it through space and, who knows, perhaps even time... itself !
Janet You mean he's going to send us to another planet ?
Frank Planet, shmanet, Janet !
You better wise up, Janet Weiss.
You better wise up, build your thighs up,
You better wise up
Narrator And then she cried out...
Janet Stop !
Frank Don't get hot and flustered ! Use a bit of mustard.
Brad You're a hot dog, but you better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter.
Dr. Scott You're a hot dog, but you better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter.
Janet You're a hot dog --
Columbia My God ! I can't stand any more of this! First you spurn me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky ! You chew people up and then you spit them out again... I loved you..do you hear me ? I loved you ! And what did it get me ? Yeah, I'll tell you: a big nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah, well, I've had enough You're gonna choose between me and Rocky, so named because of the rocks in his head.
Frank It's not easy having a good time... even smiling makes my face ache... and my children turn on me... Rocky's behaving just the way that Eddie did. Do you think I made a mistake, splitting his brain between the two of them ?
Magenta Ahhhh ! I grow veary of this world ! When shall we return to Transylvania, huh ?
Frank Magenta, I am indeed grateful to both you and your brother Riff Raff. You have both served me well. Loyalty such as yours shall not go unrewarded. You will discover that when the mood takes me, I can be quite generous.
Magenta I ask for nothing... nothing.
Frank And you shall receive it... in abundance! Come, we are ready for the floor show!
Narrator And so, by some extraordinary co-incidence, fate, it seemed, had decided that Brad and Janet should keep that appointment with their friend, Dr. Everett Scott. But it was to be in a situation which none of them would have possibly foreseen. And, just a few hours after announcing their engagement, Brad and Janet had both tasted forbidden fruit. This in itself was proof that their host was a man of little morals... and some persuasion. What further indignities were they to be subjected to? And what of the floor show that is spoken of? In an empty house? In the middle of the night? What diabolical plan had been shaped by Frank's crazed imagination? What indeed ? From what had gone before, it was clear that this was to be no picnic.
Rose Tint my world
A. Floor Show
Columbia It was great when it all began.
I was a regular Frankie fan.
But it was over when he had the plan
To start a-working on a muscle man.
Now the only thing that gives me hope
Is my love of a certain dope.
Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.
Rocky I'm just seven hours old,
And truly beautiful to behold.
And somebody should be told
My libido hasn't been controlled.
Now the only thing I've come to trust
Is an orgasmic rush of lust.
Rose tints my world and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.
Brad It's beyond me ; help me Mommy !
I'll be good ; you'll see.
Take this dream away.
What's this? Let's see,
I feel sexy !
What's come over me ?
Wo! Here it comes again.
Janet I feel released; bad times decease.
My confidence has increased; reality is here.
The game has been disbanded ; my mind has been expanded.
It's a gas that Frankie's landed !
His lust is so sincere.

B. Fanfare / Don't dream it

Frank Whatever happened to Fay Wray ?
That delicate, satin-draped frame ?
As it clung to her thigh
How I started to cry
'cause I wanted to be dressed just the same.

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure.
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh.
Erotic nightmares, beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever.
Can't you just see it ?
Oh, oh, oh... oh!

Don't dream it, be it.

All Don't dream it, be it.
Dr. Scott Ach ! We've got to get out of this trap before this decadence saps our wills. I've got to be strong, and try to hang on, or else my mind may well snap, and my life will be lived... for the thrills!
Brad It's beyond me; help me Mommy !
Janet God bless Lilly St. Cyr.

C. Wild and untamed thing

Frank My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my...my !
I'm a wild and an untamed thing.
I'm a bee with a deadly sting.
You get a hit and your mind goes ping.
Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing.
So let the party and the sounds rock on.
We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone.
Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain.
All We're a wild and an untamed thing.
We're bees with a deadly sting.
You get a hit and your mind goes ping.
Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing.
So let the party and the sounds rock on.
We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone.
Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

We're a wild and an untamed thing.
We're bees with a deadly sting.
You get a hit and your mind goes ping.
Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing.
So let the party and the sounds rock on.
We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone, gone, gone.
Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

Riff Raff Frank N Furter, it's all over.
Your mission is a failure;
Your lifestyle's too extreme.
I'm your new commander;
You now are my prisoner.
We return to Transylvania.
Prepare the transit beam.
Frank Wait ! I can explain !

I'm going home

Frank On the day I went away...
All Goodbye...
Frank Was all I had to say...
All Now I...
Frank I want to come again, and stay.
All Oh, my, my...
Frank Smile, and that will mean I may.
'cause I've seen, oh, blue skies
Through the tears in my eyes
And I realize, I'm going home.
All I'm going home.
Frank Everywhere it's been the same...
All ... feeling...
Frank ... like I'm outside in the rain...
All ... wheeling...
Frank ... free to try and find a game...
All ... dealing...
Frank ... cards for sorrow, cards for pain.
'cause I've seen, oh, blue skies
Through the tears in my eyes
And I realize, I'm going home.
Frank & All I'm going home.
Magenta  How sentimental.
Riff Raff And also presumptuous of you. You see, when I said WE were to return to Transylvania, I referred only to Magenta and myself. I'm sorry, however, if you found my words misleading, but you see, you are to remain here, in spirit, anyway.
Dr. Scott Great heavens! That's a laser!
Riff Raff Yes, Dr. Scott. A laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti-matter.
Brad You mean... you're going to kill him ? What's his crime ?
Dr. Scott You saw what became of Eddie. Society must be protected.
Riff Raff Exactly, Dr. Scott. And now, Frank N Furter, your time has come. Say goodbye to all of this, and hello... to oblivion !
Brad Good God !
Janet Oh ! You killed them !
Magenta But I thought you liked them. They liked you.
Riff Raff They didn't like me! He never liked ME !
Dr. Scott You did right.
Riff Raff A decision had to be made.
Dr. Scott You're O.K. by me.
Riff Raff Dr. Scott, I'm sorry about your nephew.
Dr. Scott Eddie ? Yes, well, perhaps it was all for the best, heh, heh, heh.
Riff Raff You should leave now, Dr. Scott, while it is still possible. We are about to beam the entire house to the planet Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania. Go... Now ! Our noble mission is completed, my most beautiful sister, and soon we shall return to the moon-drenched shores of our beloved planet.
Magenta Ah, sweet Transsexual, land of night. To sing and dance once more to your dark refrain... To take that - step, to the right...
Both HAH !!
Riff Raff But it's the pelvic THRUST...
Transylvanians That drives you insane !
Magenta And our world... will do the Time Warp... again !

Super Heroes

Brad I've done a lot; God knows I've tried
To find the truth. I've even lied.
But all I know is down inside I'm
All Bleeding...
Janet And super heroes come to the feast
To taste the flesh not yet deceased.
And all I know is still the beast is
All Feeding...
Ahh, ahh...
Narrator And crawling on the planet's face
Some insects, called the human race...
Lost in time, and lost in space,
And meaning.
All Meaning.

Science Fiction / Double Feature - Reprise

Usherette Science Fiction
Double Feature.
Frank has built and
Lost his creature.
Darkness has conquered
Brad and Janet.
The servants gone to
A distant planet. Wo, oh, oh, oh.
At the late night, double feature,
Picture show.
I want to go, oh, oh, oh. 
To the late night, double feature,
Picture show.

cast@sweet-transvestites.com